Ending

Richard died peacefully about 2:30 AM.

"Love is stronger than death even though it can't stop death from happening, but no matter how hard death tries it can't separate people from love. It can't take away our memories either. In the end, life is stronger than death.”

Today

I wish I had more news. Things continue as they have been. Richard's breathing and heartbeat are more rapid. He rarely responds to us, although I believe he hears us on some level. For the most part, he is comfortable. The staff is caring and kind.

He has had no food for over a week and very little water. His heart keeps beating, maybe because as my son-in-law says, Richard always did have a big heart.

We're all ready to move on.

Still Waiting

We are now at the local hospice home. Richard decided that he wanted to die here, not at home so here we are. It's a beautiful new facility. Everyone here is very kind and caring. Richard just sleeps now. He doesn't seem to have much pain which is a blessing.

So he waiting continues, I don't think we will be waiting too much longer, thanks all for your kind comments.

Another Friday

I'm writing this late at night. Richard continues to deteriorate. He eats nothing and drinks very little water. He has bruises all over his body.

There's little conversation between us because he sleeps all the time. I asked him if he dreamed while he was sleeping. He doesn't.

The home health aide from Hospice came today and he did wake up and joke with her.

I don't think he'll live much longer, although there's no way to predict when he'll die. We haven't decided whether or not to go to the Hospice Home when "death is eminent". I don't mind him dying here at home as long he's not agitated or in pain. We're going to talk about that tomorrow.

Flowers

Richard sent me these for Valentine's Day. Isn't he sweet?

Insurance Woes

I can't say enough good things about Hospice. Everyone has been very kind and seems to know their job and how to do it. Richard still sleeps a lot. Fortunately, his pain remains well controlled.

On the latest explanation of benefits from Richard's insurance, it seems that they are not going to pay for the PET scan because it was not considered "medically necessary". The cost is $3900. This is the first time in 10 years that something like this was not covered. I will appeal that decision.

I have very few complaints about Richard's insurance coverage...we have been so fortunate to have it and have paid very little out of pocket after deductibles and co-pays.

Today

Again thanks for all the kind comments and good wishes.

Richard is not as well today. He's had trouble eating and is more sleepy. This may be a side effect of his last radiation treatment on the mass on his clavicle. He received a higher radiation dose on Friday since they cut the total number of treatments.

It also may be from enlargement of the abdominal plasmacytoma. I wish I could accept these changes as they come and not speculate about cause or look for a solution. I'm a nurse...I want to fix it.

I get so angry at times. I remember him as he was 10 or even 5 years ago and I want that man back.

Nurses from Hospice came today and admitted Richard to their program. Right now we don't need too much from them, but the time will come, and everything is now in place for when their services are needed.

I'm not really sure what direction to take with this blog. My original purpose was to provide information, but I seem to be writing more emotionally recently. I hope that will also be helpful to others at this stage of their disease.

Update

Klebsiella pneumoniae

Richard spent Monday through today in the hospital with sepsis, a systemic bacterial infection. His blood cultured positive for a bacteria called Klebsiella. Fortunately he responded to antibiotics and is now home.

The hospital has guest WiFi, but they block Facebook, Twitter, and editing Blogger. Very annoying!

Anyway, he's much better, although he still sleeps a lot.

He has decided to stop all treatment. We have an appointment with Hospice next week.

Hi

I have lots to write about. My internet access has been limited this past week, so no way to post. I hope to catch up this weekend.

I do want to mention another new blog from Lon Nessler who is an old timer on the ACOR mailing list. He's facing his second transplant. Check it out.