The Beast...

Goodby Mary

2009-09-28T20:38:00.000-07:00

I read recently about the death of Mary Travers, Mary from the 60's folk group, Peter. Paul, and Mary. PPM was, and still is, one of my favorite groups. I was introduced to their songs in my early teen age years at summer camp. Great times singing around the campfire accompanied by two or three guitars. It was the best of times.

I had all their early music and most of the later stuff. I play the Christmas CD every year.

When I first met Richard, he was a heavy metal fan, eventually he became a PPM fan as well. We saw them in concert twice in the eighties, the second time we took the kids.

Mary died from leukemia. We stumbled upon an interview she did on public TV several months after she had a matched unrelated donor (MUD) stem cell transplant. She was doing well and considered herself cured.

We watched the interview from our rental apartment in Rochester, MN where Richard had just undergone the same procedure at Mayo. She gave us hope that he would survive because she was 14 years older than he was, and statistically, older adults have much higher mortality.

But in the end, The Beast won.

I probably won't play that CD this Christmas.

Also posted to My New Reality

Baseball, Bittersweet

2009-08-11T19:47:00.000-07:00

We went on our annual baseball trip to Kansas City last week end. It was fun, but would have been better with Richard there.

This is the front of our traditional tee shirt.

2008
2007

The Beast Takes Another

2009-07-26T08:56:00.000-07:00

Andre from On Multiple Myeloma... died yesterday. He had an infection in his lungs that was treated surgically. He was unable to recover.

I have enjoyed reading Andre and Ed's story. Andre chose to fight for life agressively, by choosing an allo transplant.

I have been reading blogs for five years and following the ACOR list for ten. Too many deaths...

2009-07-05T19:35:00.001-07:00

Family Fourth

New Myeloma Blog

2009-06-21T21:15:00.000-07:00

I found another new blog today. Jan is from Florida and has had a SCT and now relapsed on Revlimid. I've added the address to the links.

2009-06-21T12:18:00.000-07:00

Happy Father's Day
(photo June 29, 2008)

Memorial Day

2009-05-24T09:50:00.000-07:00

Memorial day is tomorrow. I went to the cemetery today to beat the rush. Richard's stone looks nice. If you look close, you can see me taking the picture reflected in the glare off of the stone.

We never talked about a headstone before he died, so I did this one on my own with the help of my daughter Erin. It's a costly venture, but I think it turned out well.

What determines cost the most is the shipping distance of the raw stone to the monument maker. Laser engraving can put a reproduction of any photo or any other image you want on the stone. So many choices!

I liked the baseball and the symbolism of home plate.

Happy Memorial Day.

Good By Toonces

2009-05-23T10:59:00.000-07:00

I killed my cat Toonces today, or rather, I had her euthanized..the result is the same. She was 19 years old and was having trouble walking. It was her time.

Richard used to joke about who would die first, Richard or the cat. The cats wins I guess.

I just couldn't stay with her when they gave her the medication. I stayed with my other cat Judy and the feelings were just too intense. I feel the same for Toonces. I wonder why the death of a pet is so upsetting? I cried more for Toonces and Judy than for Richard.

The grieving for him goes on, it's like a weight on my head all the time.

I don't know if I'll get another cat. I won't likely get another husband. He's not replaceable.

Toonces has gone to the Rainbow Bridge. Maybe she's with Richard now.

Which way to go?

2009-04-26T08:46:00.000-07:00

I've been trying to decide what direction to take with the blog. It's hard to pull away when myeloma has been my obsession for 10 years, but that is my ultimate goal.

I continue to follow the mailing lists and it's more intense when I read about recent deaths members Dan Johnson and Bill Gunther. So many deaths in those ten years.

So, I will leave the blog up for awhile and post from time to time. Thanks to you all.

Out Walking

2009-04-14T18:28:00.000-07:00

I took a walk today around Cedar Lake. I'm so out of shape, but the
weather was great.

2009-04-11T20:31:00.000-07:00

Happy Easter

Legacy

2009-03-12T18:12:00.000-07:00

It's been two weeks and Richard's death still seems unreal. It's like he's just gone shopping and will be back anytime.

Many former students came to the funeral home. Many have sent cards. So many told me that he influenced them to become teachers.

One former student who is now a teacher wrote:

"My deepest sympathies and prayers for the Krone family. Mr. Krone was one of the most influential men I have known, and is the reason why I pursued a career in education. I try to remember the life lessons he taught us, along with the school lessons. He will be missed, and will never be forgotten. My wife and I send our deepest condolences and prayers to the family and friends. "

These students/teachers are Richard's legacy.

Arrangements

2009-03-01T17:45:00.000-08:00

Visitation will be from 4:00 – 8:00 on Tuesday March 3 at Teahen Funeral Home, 3100 F Avenue NW, Cedar Rapids, IA

Funeral Mass at 10:30 AM on Wednesday March 4 at St. Pius Catholic Church, 4949 Council St NE, Cedar Rapids, IA

Ending

2009-02-28T02:42:00.000-08:00

Richard died peacefully about 2:30 AM.

"Love is stronger than death even though it can't stop death from happening, but no matter how hard death tries it can't separate people from love. It can't take away our memories either. In the end, life is stronger than death.”

Today

2009-02-27T18:32:00.000-08:00

I wish I had more news. Things continue as they have been. Richard's breathing and heartbeat are more rapid. He rarely responds to us, although I believe he hears us on some level. For the most part, he is comfortable. The staff is caring and kind.

He has had no food for over a week and very little water. His heart keeps beating, maybe because as my son-in-law says, Richard always did have a big heart.

We're all ready to move on.

Still Waiting

2009-02-22T18:43:00.000-08:00

We are now at the local hospice home. Richard decided that he wanted to die here, not at home so here we are. It's a beautiful new facility. Everyone here is very kind and caring. Richard just sleeps now. He doesn't seem to have much pain which is a blessing.

So he waiting continues, I don't think we will be waiting too much longer, thanks all for your kind comments.

Another Friday

2009-02-20T21:05:00.000-08:00

I'm writing this late at night. Richard continues to deteriorate. He eats nothing and drinks very little water. He has bruises all over his body.

There's little conversation between us because he sleeps all the time. I asked him if he dreamed while he was sleeping. He doesn't.

The home health aide from Hospice came today and he did wake up and joke with her.

I don't think he'll live much longer, although there's no way to predict when he'll die. We haven't decided whether or not to go to the Hospice Home when "death is eminent". I don't mind him dying here at home as long he's not agitated or in pain. We're going to talk about that tomorrow.

Flowers

2009-02-14T08:58:00.000-08:00

Richard sent me these for Valentine's Day. Isn't he sweet?

Insurance Woes

2009-02-13T11:47:00.000-08:00

I can't say enough good things about Hospice. Everyone has been very kind and seems to know their job and how to do it. Richard still sleeps a lot. Fortunately, his pain remains well controlled.

On the latest explanation of benefits from Richard's insurance, it seems that they are not going to pay for the PET scan because it was not considered "medically necessary". The cost is $3900. This is the first time in 10 years that something like this was not covered. I will appeal that decision.

I have very few complaints about Richard's insurance coverage...we have been so fortunate to have it and have paid very little out of pocket after deductibles and co-pays.

Today

2009-02-10T20:15:00.000-08:00

Again thanks for all the kind comments and good wishes.

Richard is not as well today. He's had trouble eating and is more sleepy. This may be a side effect of his last radiation treatment on the mass on his clavicle. He received a higher radiation dose on Friday since they cut the total number of treatments.

It also may be from enlargement of the abdominal plasmacytoma. I wish I could accept these changes as they come and not speculate about cause or look for a solution. I'm a nurse...I want to fix it.

I get so angry at times. I remember him as he was 10 or even 5 years ago and I want that man back.

Nurses from Hospice came today and admitted Richard to their program. Right now we don't need too much from them, but the time will come, and everything is now in place for when their services are needed.

I'm not really sure what direction to take with this blog. My original purpose was to provide information, but I seem to be writing more emotionally recently. I hope that will also be helpful to others at this stage of their disease.

Update

2009-02-06T18:41:00.000-08:00

Klebsiella pneumoniae

Richard spent Monday through today in the hospital with sepsis, a systemic bacterial infection. His blood cultured positive for a bacteria called Klebsiella. Fortunately he responded to antibiotics and is now home.

The hospital has guest WiFi, but they block Facebook, Twitter, and editing Blogger. Very annoying!

Anyway, he's much better, although he still sleeps a lot.

He has decided to stop all treatment. We have an appointment with Hospice next week.

Hi

2009-02-05T21:36:00.001-08:00

I have lots to write about. My internet access has been limited this past week, so no way to post. I hope to catch up this weekend.

I do want to mention another new blog from Lon Nessler who is an old timer on the A COR mailing list. He's facing his second transplant. Check it out.

Friday

2009-01-30T17:36:00.000-08:00

I'm really missing working. I was all set to start a new job last week but opted out since I don't really know how it's going to go with Richard.

He started the high dose Solu- Medrol on Monday. I think he seems more tired and almost lethargic; sleeps all the time. His thinking is a little fuzzy as well. He doesn't want to drive anymore, so I take him to radiation every day...not a problem since I certainly have the time.

The plasmacytoma on his clavicle is smaller which is good, but we don't know what is happening to the one in his abdomen. He will get labwork on Monday. I'm wondering if the lethargy is from renal failure, which is a likely possibility if the abdominal mass continues to put pressure on his kidneys.

It's difficult to fill the days, especially when Richard sleeps so much. Guess I can always clean something, in fact I did clean the inside of the fridge today!

It's a waiting game.

Birthday Flowers

2009-01-29T08:48:00.000-08:00

Springy...is that a word?

New Myeloma Blog

2009-01-29T08:18:00.000-08:00

I found another new myeloma blog. Nick is forty and just starting treatment. Best to him and his family.